Tolvon

Some days ago it was time for my monthly visit to the doctor. As it was only the third consulting with him in adult age (35), and that I am a sucker to care for my own needs, I had almost no hope that he could help me with any medications. But I told him that I had a hard time sleeping while not smoking and that I would like that. I also told him that I need to cool down my sometimes spinning head. But I did not tell him that I also need something to overcome my social anxiety in some special situations but that I have nearly solved that problem thanks to cannabis. (The sun is finally starting to shine on a somewhat nerdy programmer that has used drugs for recreational and social reasons since the age of 12 and feels like one of the riders on the storm).

But hey he could help. He got something called Tolvon. I was an old medicine but was used for people who did do not want Cipralex treatment. I had told him that I’ve rejected my previous doctor cause of that and other incidents he didn’t ask about so I got naively a bit happy that he was listening to me. As a highly curious and responsible (adult child) person I had to know what Tolvon is and how it is supposed to function. The doctor couldn’t of course not explain that to me and exposed he didn’t know and explained that he was not a scientist (with other words). But he could inform me om my question that there were no chances for me to get addicted. Hm. I could quit…

The next day I had an appointment with my public health care shrink directly across the corner where the local police station is (not that it is significant). I told him what I’ve got and he told me that I should take the medicine. It would help me sleep and I would loose my need for cannabis. He had a friend who was using it and all. And he could assure me that it would not change my personality. Still not convinced and not able to ask my real doctor, a friend of my: Dr. Mengele I’ve decided to go to the to the pharmaceutical store, buy it and walk home and read about it. So with only 23 NOK less in my pocket (offer and request regulated price?;) I went home to my new future.

Back home my friend Wikipedia made me terrible ashamed being norwegian and I’ve felt highly insulted by both the doctor and the shrink. Tolvon or more correctly named Mianserin is a psychoactive drug that results in changes in perception, mood, consciousness and behavior by disinhibiting (I call it blocking) the release of

• Norepinephrine – Effects are alertness and arousal, and influences on the reward system.


• Dopamine – Has many functions in the brain, including important roles in behavior and cognition, voluntary movement, motivation, punishmentand reward, inhibition of prolactin production (involved in lactation and sexual gratification), sleep, mood, attention, working memory, and learning.


• Serotonin – Various functions, including the regulation of mood, appetite, sleep, muscle contraction, and some cognitive functions including memory and learning is most likely used to regulate the extent or intensity of moods.


• Acetylcholine – Acts as a neuromodulator between the peripheral nervous system (PNS) and central nervous system (CNS).

in various areas of the brain and body(!). When it comes to addiction the wikipedia article says you may get withdrawal effects of which may include depression, anxiety, panic attacks, decreased appetite or anorexia, insomnia, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, and flu-like symptoms, such as allergies or pruritus, among others. In order to experience the symptoms of withdrawal, one must have first developed a physical dependence (often referred to as chemical dependency). Hm…

As a programmer I understand that you cannot fix a system without knowing whats going on on the inside. And with that knowledge you easily understand that it is madness to medicate the brain without doing a FMRI. Unless its madness to medicate the brain at all with a medication that is used to calm down the "worst" inmates in norwegian prisons (even if you are). I think both the doctor and shrink should praise their Lords that I’m not aggressive. On the contrary I am very peaceful and only need some Diazepam once in awhile to overcome some barriers. Alternate some Oxazepam but I am unsure since have no previous experiences with it. And that is only if I do want do rely on pills. I haven’t yet and I don’t think I want. God gave us marijuana. No fucking way that I’m gonna be a monkey boy.