lørdag 27. februar 2010

Tolvon

Some days ago it was time for my monthly visit to the doctor. As it was only the third consulting with him in adult age (35), and that I am a sucker to care for my own needs, I had almost no hope that he could help me with any medications. But I told him that I had a hard time sleeping while not smoking and that I would like that. I also told him that I need to cool down my sometimes spinning head. But I did not tell him that I also need something to overcome my social anxiety in some special situations but that I have nearly solved that problem thanks to cannabis. (The sun is finally starting to shine on a somewhat nerdy programmer that has used drugs for recreational and social reasons since the age of 12 and feels like one of the riders on the storm).

But hey he could help. He got something called Tolvon. I was an old medicine but was used for people who did do not want Cipralex treatment. I had told him that I’ve rejected my previous doctor cause of that and other incidents he didn’t ask about so I got naively a bit happy that he was listening to me. As a highly curious and responsible (adult child) person I had to know what Tolvon is and how it is supposed to function. The doctor couldn’t of course not explain that to me and exposed he didn’t know and explained that he was not a scientist (with other words). But he could inform me om my question that there were no chances for me to get addicted. Hm. I could quit…

The next day I had an appointment with my public health care shrink directly across the corner where the local police station is (not that it is significant). I told him what I’ve got and he told me that I should take the medicine. It would help me sleep and I would loose my need for cannabis. He had a friend who was using it and all. And he could assure me that it would not change my personality. Still not convinced and not able to ask my real doctor, a friend of my: Dr. Mengele I’ve decided to go to the to the pharmaceutical store, buy it and walk home and read about it. So with only 23 NOK less in my pocket (offer and request regulated price?;) I went home to my new future.

Back home my friend Wikipedia made me terrible ashamed being norwegian and I’ve felt highly insulted by both the doctor and the shrink. Tolvon or more correctly named Mianserin is a psychoactive drug that results in changes in perception, mood, consciousness and behavior by disinhibiting (I call it blocking) the release of

  • Norepinephrine – Effects are alertness and arousal, and influences on the reward system.

  • Dopamine – Has many functions in the brain, including important roles in behavior and cognition, voluntary movement, motivation, punishmentand reward, inhibition of prolactin production (involved in lactation and sexual gratification), sleep, mood, attention, working memory, and learning.

  • Serotonin – Various functions, including the regulation of mood, appetite, sleep, muscle contraction, and some cognitive functions including memory and learning is most likely used to regulate the extent or intensity of moods.

  • Acetylcholine – Acts as a neuromodulator between the peripheral nervous system (PNS) and central nervous system (CNS).


in various areas of the brain and body(!). When it comes to addiction the wikipedia article says you may get withdrawal effects of which may include depression, anxiety, panic attacks, decreased appetite or anorexia, insomnia, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, and flu-like symptoms, such as allergies or pruritus, among others. In order to experience the symptoms of withdrawal, one must have first developed a physical dependence (often referred to as chemical dependency). Hm…

As a programmer I understand that you cannot fix a system without knowing whats going on on the inside. And with that knowledge you easily understand that it is madness to medicate the brain without doing a FMRI. Unless its madness to medicate the brain at all with a medication that is used to calm down the "worst" inmates in norwegian prisons (even if you are). I think both the doctor and shrink should praise their Lords that I’m not aggressive. On the contrary I am very peaceful and only need some Diazepam once in awhile to overcome some barriers. Alternate some Oxazepam but I am unsure since have no previous experiences with it. And that is only if I do want do rely on pills. I haven’t yet and I don’t think I want. God gave us marijuana. No fucking way that I’m gonna be a monkey boy.

Winter police raid

It was friday evening and the opening of the 2010 winter olympics in Vancouver. Some friends and I were ready to chill out and enjoy the coming ceremony broadcasted. Cannabis is legal over there and news says Police to Continue Permissive Approach to Pot During Games in the Home of BC Bud but here in Norway we were about to discover that what we already knew was still valid: It was not the situation here at home.

Thirty minuttes before the opening someone was knocking on the door and suddenly there were police officers all over the place. After a while they found 2 grams of hashish on the table but nothing else. We were all brought down to the station and put in custody. They were hoping that I was going to admit usage but after after a while they let me go with a beef strogasomething in my hand and my grinder in my pocket. But my friend had to stay for the night because of an interrogation the next day and they had also planned to take a closer look on his apartment.

The reason for their presence was a mobile phone linked to a car break in that allegedly contained my friends subscriber identity module. 12 police officers. Twelve clever guys to find out what they could have found out by them self if they were interested in doing a decent good job and not one based on fallacies. I could say a lot about my reactions and I did say a lot to the police but they cannot say anything about me. On the contrary! But we have been thinking about the real reason for the police raid.

søndag 11. oktober 2009

The Potgnomes three laws for police officers

  1. A police officer may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
  2. A police officer must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
  3. A police officer must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

onsdag 12. august 2009

Worlds almost collided

Today has already been the most bizarre day I've had in a long time. Up early to prepare a breakfast with a past employer by doing an light morning exercise and shaping up with some soda. This man who rides a nice sports touring bike did I get to know while doing some tech work consulting in my country's business capital. Anyway, nice to see him again and when he left I stood by watching him drive away and didn't feel any bikeless blues. Just happy and ready to chill down with a smoke. One hour or so later an another friend who clearest of all represents my darker side came by with his highly customized Harley. What a contrast between those 2. And howe similar. And how difficult it is to decide who's the better man (if there is a difference in that regard). That's what's so bizarre.

A biker is a biker (even if Harly owners are a bit exclusive) but I am like a stone. I ain't rolling and the blues...

But I will not fade away. Period.